Disruption

Disruption

Disruption

By Jacqui Nelson

“I feel off” …

“I can’t keep it all together”…

“I can’t get myself grounded”…

“When will this end?”…

“I feel like I can’t land anywhere”…

Every clientThese are questions and comments I’ve had and heard has expressed these feelings as it relates toabout disruption.

Who knew that a global pandemic would arise in the first half of 2020? It’s a kind of disruption that none of us knows how to hold. It got me thinking about what occurs within our hearts, minds, bodies when disruption occurs. It’s like a shakiness, a cloudiness, and a very pervasive sense of being in limbo.

Limbo. It’s a posture of having to hold yourself suspended above a place between here and there. And, we didn’t choose it. It brings a lot of uncertainty about whatwhen we can realistically expect about when we will get to feel more grounded, more like ourselves, more secure.

In disruption, when we can’t change a lot of things and are floating, perhaps the only thing to do is to find a way of being present to how we’re feeling rather than try to force ourselves to be okay. Perhaps we just need to give ourselves permission to not be okay and to create space for all these disruptive feelings.

Making space for these feelings may look like asking yourself what do you notice is occurring in your body? What sensations do you notice? What’s your mood like presently? Are you feeling more irritable, withdrawn, depressed, or fearful? Does this feel a little like grief? What emotions do you need to name?

We may not know when the pandemic will end or when we’ll get out of limbo. We might not feel 100% like ourselves till until this is over and that’s okay. We may find ourselves engaging differently as we grow and adapt. However you find yourself, be patient with yourself, and hold yourself with kindness.

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